MLS Gets Spicy

         

          Though it’s a game beloved the world over, and though more than one billion people tune in to its world championship game every four years, soccer is still an upstart in the United States. To help break into the mainstream, Major League Soccer – the official governing body of professional soccer stateside – took inspiration from Old Spice coupons.

         It’s actually a good idea – Old Spice was a relatively under-appreciated brand before the revolutionary Old Spice Guy advertisements premiered last year, and MLS is hoping that a spoof of the iconic campaign will help the organization breakthrough to the mainstream.

         In the video, Chivas USA midfielder Michael Lahoud channels Isaiah Mustafa (all the way down to the white towel) in an effort to sell more tickets to the game, and I can tell you that he’s got my attention. If the guys start playing shirtless, I can guarantee that they’ll sell more tickets to female spectators.

         You’d never see Tom Brady or Kobe Bryant doing this – not that they’d have to – but I think this shows a sense of humor and an inventiveness that I don’t always expect from elite athletes. It’s funny, and it makes me want to use Old Spice coupons and watch soccer at the same time – and it’s also established Lahoud as my new favorite soccer player (sorry, Becks). 

Seinfeld Loves Cereal Too Much To Return to TV

        

     Jerry Seinfeld will never do another television show because he likes using Cheerios coupons too much. That might be oversimplifying the situation a bit, but according to the man himself, eating cereal is one of the things he loves, and that thing would be disrupted too much if he were to produce/star in another sitcom.

         Jerry, no longer the bachelor he played on the hit 90s sitcom that bears his name, now has three kids and he recently told a crowd at one of his live shows that his morning ritual of pouring four bowls of cereal – one for him, and one for each of his kids – is one of those things he really appreciates and is unwilling to sacrifice.

         Besides, the 57-year-old says that another show is unnecessary because “I’m old, I’m rich and I’m tired.” Seinfeld’s new life – the kids and the fact that he’s been married for 12 years now – might provide plenty of new material if he were to do another sitcom. It already provides the material for Jerry’s standup act. 

         “A lot of wives complain about their husband not listening,” Seinfeld said to the crowd of his latest sold-out performance. “I have never heard my wife say that.”

         The comedian also continues to find humor in the world as he observes it – Cialis commercials, Pop Tarts, standing ovations, and 5 Hour Energy (“meth-lab Hawaiian Punch jello shots”) were also punch lines at the show.

         But Seinfeld also assured his audience that as long as the world continues to be weird – presumably, forever – even all the Cheerios coupons in the world won’t stop him from asking questions, making comments, and telling jokes. It’s nice to know that some things never change!

At The (Wiener Dog) Races

          

          At the Kentucky derby, gents in suits and ladies in fancy hats drink Mint Juleps and bet on fast-running horses with funny names. At the wiener dog derby, loving owners try to encourage heir funny looking dogs to run fast. It costs more than a million dollars to raise and train a horse for the Kentucky Derby, it takes only Eukanuba coupons and the enticement of treats to prepare a wiener dog for the wiener dog derby. The Kentucky Derby happens just once a year in Louisville, Kentucky. Weiner dog derbys, you may or may not know, are happening multiple times a year all over the country.

         Probably because a wiener dog derby is a wonderfully whimsical spectator sport that seems so wrong it’s right. The long-and-low wiener dog does not seem built for speed like their lean and lithe greyhound counterparts, but it is cute when it tries. Weiner dog derbies are held on racetracks and any dachshund who wants to dash can participate. You’ve got to see this video from a recent round of wiener races – it’s adorable! The dogs seem to get kind of distracted by eachother, and some of them wanted off course to sniff things and never cross the finish line – but other are swifter than you’d think. You can look for wiener dog races in your area online – there’s usually a small entry fee but there are prizes for the winners. While you’re on the web, don’t miss out on these Eukanuba coupons – you’ll need to fuel up your little friend if he’s going to zoom to glory! 

Signs You're Really A Parent

If the diaper bag and perpetually sleep-deprived look make it apparent to the rest of the world that you’re a new parent, these are the signs that prove to you that yes – you really are a parent. You know where the best Huggies coupons are, whether your baby prefers smashed peas or pureed carrots, and how to change a diaper with one hand. Here are 10 other sure signs that it’s official:
1) You can distinguish between a cry that says “I’m hungry” and one that says “I pooped.”
2) Other moms ask you for advice.
3) You finally understand what all the fuss over the “new baby smell” is about.
4) Your baby notices himself in the mirror for the first time.
5) You realize that your baby does look like you (or your significant other).
6) Your baby’s cuteness stops a stranger on the street.
7) You make your baby laugh so hard he gets hiccups.
8) You see dad and baby laughing napping together, both in the same position.
9) You’re told that you’re a great mom.
10) You believe it.
You go, mom. You’re a Huggies coupon-wielding, lullaby singing, spoon-feeding superhero.

Who Would Want To Play With Diapers?!

When I think about all of the things that are fun about having a baby, diaper changing is not one of them. Actually, diaper changing might be at the top of my “Things That Aren’t Fun About Having A Baby,” list. Yes, I get excited about Luvs coupons – but that’s because I like to save money, not because a stinky diaper is my idea of a good time.

But for whatever reason, toy manufacturers seem to think that there’s something really enjoyable about changing a diaper – which is obvious when you look at how many diaper-changing toys are out there.

A search for “Diaper” in the Amazon.com toy store turns up a staggering 1500 results, including Zhu Zhu pets in diapers, Barbies that change diapers, dolls that wet themselves, prank dirty diapers, and mini toy babies that come in their very own diaper bag carrying case.

I don’t know who is coming up with this stuff, but I guess there are a lot of kids out there who want to play grown-up – even if that means changing diapers. I guess it’s no crazier than the toy washing machine I had as a kid – I loved washing my sleeping beauty dress in the Fisher Price washer/dryer due two decades ago, and I really hate doing laundry now. It’s funny, really – the things that are so boring to kids, like Luvs coupons and shopping, are fun for adults. And the things adults dread most seem really fun to kids. Can you think of other things like this – that you loved to lay when you were little, but hate now? 

Guerilla Marketing: The New Way to Sell Tampons?

Marketing tampons is famously tricky – making the product sound appealing is virtually impossible. Some ads go the clinical route, explaining the research that proves why a certain tampon is most effective. Others buck science and try to make women laugh, which is admirable enough (the Kotex commercials which featured a beaver come to mind) – but just because you make a woman laugh doesn’t mean you’ll make her feel more confident about the tampons she uses. Sure, tampon coupons are a good way to get women to actually try the product – using is believing – but recently, a Dutch company pulled a tampon marketing stunt that puts all other attempts to shame.

         The company loaded a plane up with thousands of tiny, pink-parachuted tampons and dropped them above a beach during the peak of tourist season, when their product was sure to reach the largest possible audience. It makes sense, right? Kind of – if you’re on your period at the beach, you NEED tampons, but I’m not sure where the idea to play this off like a military exercise came from.

         The video shows the whole thing going down, though you probably won’t understand what anyone is saying. It doesn’t matter, you’ll catch the most important points: there are tampons falling from the sky, and the cameraman is definitely a man (he keeps getting distracted from the event he’s documenting by cute girls in bathing suits).

         The environmental impact of this is a little suspect – I hope the company came back and rounded up any stray tampons – but I can’t imagine a more aggressive marketing campaign. Maybe this means the days of good old fashioned tampon coupons and commercials are giving way to more inventive marketing that flies in the face of unnecessary period-shame – time will tell!