I can still reach around and wipe my own booty, but if for any reason that should change it’s comforting to know that I won’t have to give up my Charmin coupons. Thanks to the wonderful invention that is “The Comfort Wipe,” cleaning up after you do your business will never be uncomfortable again (I never realized it was such an ordeal in the first place, but the folks who do infomercials have a knack for making simple acts seem terribly complicated, messy, and stressful).
What is the Comfort Wipe, you may ask? Well, it’s a handy “sanitary toilet paper arm and holder” that lets you clean up and dispose of your toilet tissue without getting your hand anywhere near your actual behind. The ad is totally worth sitting through just to see the gloriously posh old lady at the end who delightedly says that the Comfort Wipe “allows you to maintain your dignity.” As if using the restroom is an affront to my dignity! I don’t think I’ll be using the money I save with my Charmin coupons to buy this unnecessary invention any time soon, but if you have to have one you can find this engineering marvel on ebay.
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